The new Language and Performing Arts Center will be the largest concentration of classrooms in the Upper School, but the Middle School faculty don’t want to be left out of this project. After all, the Middle School band and choir will rehearse and perform in the new building.

Leon Phillips, who teaches eighth grade math, is rumored to be the author of the top-eight list of “Middle School Faculty Additions to the Design of the new Language and Performing Arts Center.” Just as Martin Luther’s 95 Theses were nailed to the church door, this list is posted on the whiteboard in the Middle School faculty room:

Middle School Faculty Additions to the Design of the new Language and Performing Arts Center
1. Underground catacombs and waterways, just like in Phantom of the Opera
2. A built-in picket line for writers and stage hands
3. A chorus line
4. A stage door
5. A pit (pendulum optional)
6. “Greeters” at the doors, just like at Walmart
7. Amps that go all the way up to 11
8. A Forier Foyer